If you’re a parent who is concerned that your child is suffering from loneliness, there are some simple things that you can do that are proven to be effective in helping your child make new connections and look forward to making new healthy relationships.
Actually, your child could be feeling lonely regardless of the amount of social contact that they may have.
Perhaps they don’t feel valued or they feel misunderstood by their peers.
So what is the impact of your child feeling lonely? It could:
affect their self-esteem, self image and self confidence
make them feel anxious or depressed
affect their digestive system
disrupt their sleep patterns
decrease their energy level
affect their social life
And maybe it’s having a similar effect on you as well
It can first be helpful to determine the cause of your child’s loneliness. Has the recent pandemic affected their ability to connect with their peers? Are they having challenges at school? Are they at an age or stage of development where they are feeling awkward socially? It could be a number of reasons that are causing the loneliness.
As a parent, you are understandably concerned that your child’s loneliness may be having some long-term effects.
Child development and emotional health experts suggest there are some proven effective ways to help your child be less lonely.
Understand and accept who your child is and what their interests are. Many times parents try to encourage and motivate their children to be someone that they aren’t — that is to think, feel and behave differently than their instincts are telling them to. You can attune to your child’s thought patterns, emotional responses and behavioral habits and find ways to connect with them on a deeper level.
Spend time with your child doing what they want to do. There will be plenty of times when your child will be doing what you want them to do, and it’ll be special for your child when they feel in control of their schedule, conversation, or any other interaction with you. Just having that power and control will help build their self-esteem.
Help your child find ways to regulate. Locking into your child’s inner world and understanding what may be upsetting them or making them afraid can help you develop ways to teach them to self regulate. Help them connect to their mind and body and learn how they react to different situations — especially ones that may be stressful. You can empower your child to use breathing, movement, positive self talk and other self-regulation techniques.
Actively listen to your child. By giving them age appropriate voice and power, you’ll help your child feel safer to be who they are. Let them tell their daily story and accept their thoughts feelings and beliefs.
Validate your child’s emotions. By meeting your child where they may be emotionally when stressed, it will help them feel understood and appreciated. Also emotional validation will help your child develop their own emotional vocabulary and regulation plans.
Affirm your child to help build their self-esteem. Providing specific and well-timed affirmations will help your child feel better about themselves and increase their self-confidence, self image and sense of self worth.
Encourage your child to make new connections around the things that they are most interested in. Beyond their immediate peer group, what other communities and social connections may be opportunities for your child to feel more excepted and appreciated?
You can help your child manage or even get past their loneliness even when they may not even realize what they are feeling. It’s important to keep an eye out for signs that your child may be lonely. If they don’t really understand what they’re feeling, it can be difficult to ask for help.
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