"Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of your fear" (George Addair)
3 things to know about your fears --
1. Chances are your fears are not real but only your thoughts triggering your implicit fear memories. It's FEAR -- False Evidence Appearing Real (Those fearful voices inside your head can be overwhelming!)
2. What you fear is not actually happening. You always fear something that's about to happen. So there's usually time and space for mindful thinking and ways to advocate for yourself to reduce your fear.
3. It's not what you think you fear -- it's what you LINK to fear. Your fears are triggering your implicit memories of disappointment, regret, shame, or other negative emotions.
For instance, if you have a fear of public speaking -- all of your body sensation changes (heart racing, sweating, etc.) and emotional response is based on what your brain is connecting to your fear -- embarrassment, incompetence, shame or something else.
Fear is my "wheelhouse." During my childhood I was "marinated in fear" by many of my primary caretakers -- which imprinted a lot of fear-based implicit memories. ("Don't touch that" "Don't get to close to that" "Be careful with that")
As a child, I began to look at life as full of "land mines" everywhere and I always need to be prepared. It has caused me a lifetime of anxiety.
Many times my "gut reaction" to new or challenging situations is to feel some level of fear or anxiety.
Here's what I usually do to calm my emotions in the heat of a fearful moment or situation. These should work for you too.
1. Use mindful calming strategies (breathing, movement, tapping, positive self talk, relaxing imagery, etc.) to keep you from your distorted thoughts of what you fear -- remembering to stay present in the moment.
2. Create and master cognitive "grounding" exercises to distract your brain from your distorted fearful thinking. You can use healthy these tools for self-hypnosis -- to help maintain a calm brain state.
3. Focus your thoughts on self love, self compassion and self confidence. You can control you fearful thinking, rather than your fearful thinking controlling you.
Your gut health can also help reduce your fear response. You have a second brain -- your gut brain -- that controls your moods and emotions. Feeding your gut brain healthier foods to improve your gut bacteria will calm many of your emotional responses -- including fear -- and help you manage your moods better.
I recently cut carbs. sugar, dairy and gluten from my diet and added more fermented, prebiotic and probiotic foods. That has done wonders for my fears and anxiety -- as well as late afternoon brain fog.
How are you gonna get past your fears today?
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